Showing posts with label Reviews: Grade D. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reviews: Grade D. Show all posts
17 November 2011
REVIEW: Dark Predator by Christine Feehan
dark
predator
Christine Feehan
ISBN #: 978-0-425-24197-4
The Berkley Publishing Group
September 2011
Paranormal
BACK COVER BLURB:
As
brutal as the undead he hunted, Zacarias De La Cruz was a master executioner.
Over the long, dark centuries, he plunged into so many battles they blurred
into an endless lifetime of evil that hardened the soul of this merciless,
ruthless and implacable dark predator.
Now
his stark and savage journey is over. After a thousand years in a gray world,
he has accomplished everything he set out to do. His brothers are safeguarded.
Each has found a woman who completes him. And they are at peace. For his
brothers, Zacarias has walked the edge of madness, but with centuries as a
killing machine now left to the past, and without a hunt to define him,
Zacarias wonders, for the first time in his life, who he really is.
The
answer awaits him back home in Peru, in an unexpected betrayal, in the vengeance
of an old enemy, in the inevitable consequences of a bloody family legacy, and
in the deliverance of a life mate he never could have imagined.
COVER SNARK:
This
cover isn't how I pictured the hero. And I know this is weird, but look at his
upper lip, although I know it's part of the model's beard, but it really looks
as if he has a cold sore.
FIRST LINES:
Smoke burned his lungs. It rose around him in bellowing waves.
LYNETTE'S TWO CENTS:
It
took me forever to read DARK PREDATOR, mainly because I had read another
bloggers review of this book and she trashed it. She trashed it in such a way
that it made me think that I was going to have serious issues with this book.
However, I eventually read DARK PREDATOR because while I love how thought out
this blogger reviews books, I rarely agree with her. If she's egging me on to
read a book saying she loved it, I read it and it's a DNF for me. If she hates
a book, I don't mind it. But because of the way she reviews, I still like to
read her reviews.
Still
after finishing DARK PREDATOR, I am having a hard time putting my feelings down
to words. Christine Feehan was one of the first paranormal romances that I read
way back in the day before Twilight/Harry Potter, etc. when not a lot of people
were reading paranormal romance. I've pretty much given up on the rest of the
series she has written (I still plan to finish the Drake Sisters and that spin
off of them, but just haven't gotten around to it, yet), but for some reason I
still keep reading her Carpathian series.
The
heroes of her books range from Alpha to Alpha-hole and the heroines from weak
twits to kick-ass woman. Of course, I prefer books with the Alpha and the kick
ass woman. DARK PREDATOR was not that book. DARK PREDATOR's hero is an
Alpha-hole and while the heroine is not a twit, she fell a little short for me,
in ways that it's hard for me to describe. SORRY, I SO NO THIS IS NOT HELPFUL.
I'm trying to sort out my feelings here, people!
I
think my problem is that I'm so over the mind rape premise of this series,
especially when the hero is an Alpha hole. To be specific, when a Carpathian
finds his mate, they are able to communicate telepathically, and the man can
often bend the female to his will. That was done in this book. The hero totally
mind rapes the heroine and that annoyed me, especially as he did it after she
saved his life. The heroine believes that she deserved this mind rape because
she didn't listen to his demands that she let him die. While mind rape has been
done throughout the series, I think this time, I just got annoyed and was so
over it. I'm like it's time to move on with this premise. Please.
This
scene was in the first couple chapters of the book (I think Chapter 3) and
after that, the story picks up and becomes a little more interesting but I
think it's because of how the author switched up the whole life-mate premise
that was interesting to me. However, because of the character traits of both
the hero and heroine (him being an Alpha-hole and her being Ms. Susie Sunshine)
I had a hard time connecting with them or caring about their happily ever
after.
I
found myself skimming the endless narrative in DARK PREDATOR, mainly because I
didn't care, and mainly because I was looking for more interaction between the
hero and the heroine and not the emo narrative that was given. I felt that I
had been given what DARK PREDATOR presented countless times, the vampire chase,
the society hoopla, yada, yada, yada.
While
closing DARK PREDATOR, I realized that the book was very well crafted, but I
had an epiphany. DARK PREDATOR was not a romance novel, because choice and free
will were taken away from Susie Sunshine. I wanted to see more on why they were
destined for each other than Alpha-Hole's constant Alpha-holeness towards Susie
Sunshine.
Will
I still read these books. Probably. I think because there was nothing in here
that made me scream with rage to make me stop reading the series like I have
from her other series (the Game one) or the Stephanie Plum series by Janet
Evanovitch. Both are long standing series that I followed for years and just
stopped for various reasons.
And
can I say, can authors who are doing such long series please take the J.D. Robb
class on figuring out how to constantly make your series seem fresh even after
a million books? Is that a class? If so it should be one.
WHERE PURCHASED:
Borrowed
from my local library.
RATING:
Labels:
21 September 2011
REVIEW: Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts by Mitzi Szereto
Pride
and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts
Mitzi Szereto
ISBN #: 978-1573446631
Publisher
Name: Cleis Press
Date Released: July 2011
Genre: Romance/Jane Austen
Fan Fic
Book
Format: Kindle Version
Kindle
Price: $8.99
BACK COVER BLURB:
Imagine
that Jane Austen had written the opening line of her satirical novel Pride and
Prejudice this way: "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single
man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a good romp and a good
wife — although not necessarily from the same person or from the opposite
sex." In Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts Mr. Darcy has never been more
devilish and the seemingly chaste Elizabeth never more turned on.
The
entire cast of characters from Austen's classic is here in this rewrite that
goes all the way. This time Mr. Bingley and his sister both have designs on Mr.
Darcy's manhood; Elizabeth's bff Charlotte marries their family's strange
relation and stumbles upon a secret world of feminine relations more to her liking;
and, in this telling, men are not necessarily the the only dominating sex. And
of course there's some good old fashioned bodice ripping that shows no pride or
prejudice and reveals hot hidden lusts in every page-turning chapter.
COVER SNARK:
This
cover is actually pretty. I liked it.
FIRST LINES:
When news reached Mrs. Bennet that Netherfield Park was to be let to a young gentleman in possession of a good fortune, she determined to make him a husband to one of her five daugthers.
LYNETTE'S TWO CENTS:
Dear
Lord, where do I begin?
Okay,
everyone knows that my not so secret vice is Pride and Prejudice adaptations.
My favorites are ones where Darcy and Elizabeth show their love for each other
(umm, get there grove on, have sex, do the nasty). However, nothing prepared me
for this.
PRIDE
AND PREJUDICE: HIDDEN LUSTS was crazy for coco puffs, completely lacking in
reason and common sense. Yet, I was entertained. Granted my entertainment was
more along the lines of "Dear Lord, no she didn't. Dear Lord, no this
isn't happening. Dear Lord, this is the stupidest, craziest, thing I have ever
read. Dear Lord, this is Pride and Prejudice, is nothing scared?" Yet, I
couldn't stop reading.
The
only way I can make my review coherent, or for you to understand what I mean is
to go character by character and give you their sexual vices. This is full of spoilers,
because I'm giving you each characters kinks.
Mr.
Bennet: He loves to enter woman in their 'hind quarters.' Since Mrs. Bennet
refused to do this, he has discovered special drawings of woman with things
sticking out of their hindquarters. When he is in the library ignoring his family
he is getting himself off and bankrupting his family by paying for these
pictures. He eventually gets tired of the pictures and carves out a piece of
butternut squash to resemble a woman's internal parts (I'm trying to be
delicate here, people!) where he sticks his wee wee. Of course, he is so exuberant
that the squash is quickly destroyed, so he ends up banging Mrs. Hill.
Mrs.
Bennet: Mrs. Bennet's love of officers back in the day resulted in Jane.
Horrified by her husband's sexual impulses, she goes and buys potions from the
gypsy's which makes her crazy for coco puffs and goggly-eyed.
Caroline
Bingley: It was weird because the author had her addressed as Lady Caroline,
with no reason why? Caroline loves to take a switch to men's booty's while the
man is attending to her vajayjay with his mouth. Her best customer is Mr.
Hurst, though she really wants Mr. Darcy but he keeps refusing her, which is
driving her crazy.
Charles
Bingley: He has a thing for Mr. Darcy. His favorite occupation is getting Darcy
drunk and then while Darcy is passed out climbing in Darcy's bed and sucking on
Darcy's weewee.
Lady
Catherine: She is a Dom. When people don't do what she thinks they should do,
she puts them in stockades and whips them while she's wearing some weird black
get up.
Mr.
Collins: Is gay. His favorite past time is running about sucking on other men's
wee wees so vigorously that he knocks out his teeth.
Charlotte
Lucas: Is gay. She wants Lizzy, but Lizzy is too clueless to realize it,
despite Charlotte constantly feeling her up. She has others who she is involved
with but can't get over her craving for Lizzy.
Mr.
Wickham: He ended up running off with Georgiana. He used her money to open up
several whorehouses and sent Georgiana to go and work in them, where Darcy
found out and rescued her. He is in the militia recruiting. He tells Elizabeth
that it's Darcy who was the owner and Darcy who sent Georgiana off to work in
them.
Lydia
Bennet: Likes to get off humping inanimated objects to her family's horror. She
also humps officers, two and three at a time. She runs off with Wickham and
when they are forced to marry, she has no problem working in Mr. Wickham's
place of business.
Mary
Bennet: Tries to attract Mr. Collins attention by stuffing apples down her
dress. She also goes to the gypsy's for potions that has adverse effects.
Elizabeth
Bennet: Once she meets Mr. Wickham she starts finding stuff to insert inside
her to get herself off. She doesn't seem to get that Lydia is a hussy despite
all the noises she makes in her room and what she does to any piece of
furniture she passes.
Fitzwilliam
Darcy: When he proposes to Elizabeth the first time he takes out his wee wee
and strokes it, which prompts Elizabeth to umm . . . kiss it until the desired
result occurs. LOL. I couldn't read that scene without thinking of Colin Firth
and Jennifer Ehle doing the same thing.
Okay,
can you understand why I thought PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: HIDDEN LUSTS was crazy
for coco puffs?
Despite
all the erotica (and this is erotica and not an erotic romance), and my horror/fascination at the way such beloved characters were protrayed, it was still
flat for me. It's because there was a lack of emotion. It was all about the sex
and not about any emotions between Darcy and Elizabeth. I couldn't feel the
deep connection that Darcy and Elizabeth have with each other. So despite my
google eyed read, I was in the end disappointed.
WHERE PURCHASED:
Purchased
with my own money.
RATING:
13 September 2011
REVIEW: In Bed with A Highlander by Maya Banks
in bed
with a highlander
Maya Banks
978-0345519474
Ballantine Books
August 2011
Historical Romance
368 Pages
BACK COVER BLURB:
Ewan
McCabe, the eldest, is a warrior determined to vanquish his enemy. Now, with
the time ripe for battle, his men are ready and Ewan is poised to take back
what is his—until a blue-eyed, raven-haired temptress is thrust upon him.
Mairin may be the salvation of Ewan’s clan, but for a man who dreams only of
revenge, matters of the heart are strange territory to conquer.
The
illegitimate daughter of the king, Mairin possesses prized property that has
made her a pawn—and wary of love. Her worst fears are realized when she is
rescued from peril only to be forced into marriage by her charismatic and
commanding savior, Ewan McCabe. But her attraction to her ruggedly powerful new
husband makes her crave his surprisingly tender touch; her body comes alive
under his sensual mastery. And as war draws near, Mairin’s strength, spirit,
and passion challenge Ewan to conquer his demons—and embrace a love that means
more than revenge and land.
COVER SNARK:
Cover
looks way to modern for a historical novel and a tartan (or whatever it's
called) doesn't help.
FIRST LINES:
Mairin Stuart knelt on the stone floor beside her pallet and bowed her head in her evening prayer.
LYNETTE'S TWO CENTS:
Followers
of my blog should know by now how I feel about Maya Banks writing, it is like
crack. There is something about Ms. Banks style that makes me pick up her books
and no matter what she writes, even when I find some of the material
questionable. Her writing style is so engaging that I cannot help indulging myself.
I've
also mentioned that I've been a die-hard romance fan since I was eleven years
old and one of my favorite authors was Julie Garwood. Back in '91 when she
started her Highlander series, I brought all the books and I still have them
down in my basement in boxes because when we moved into our new house two years
ago, the hubster promised to build me bookshelves. Two years later, no
bookshelves.
I'm
drifting. Anyhoo.
The
Bride, The Secret, The Wedding, and my favorite Ransom were devoured by me and
while it's been awhile since I read them, I still remember them fondly and they
are my all-time favorites.
Right
now you are probably wondering why I'm talking about Julie Garwood for a Maya
Banks review. I have a point, I promise.
But
first I would like to apologize for doubting another reviewer who had said Maya
Banks KGI series was a little too similar to her favorite romantic suspense
novel. When this reviewer cited the similarities I thought, yeah that was a
little too close for comfort, but there are only so many plots and it could
just be a coincidence.
Now
that the same experience has happened to me with one of Ms. Banks novels, I
understand this reviewer's point better.
As
always with Ms. Banks novels, I enjoyed IN BED WITH A HIGHLANDER, I really did,
but this story hit a little too close to home for my personal tastes.
No,
I am not saying that it was an exact copy of Garwood's novels. It's not. Ms.
Banks has such an unique writing voice that makes it hard for her to be other
than herself, but the plot was a little too similar to Garwood's Highlander
series. IN BED WITH A HIGHLANDER seemed like a mash up of Julie Garwood's Highlander
series including plot and character personality traits.
In
Ransom, the heroine is held captive in a castle with a young boy. The boy is
there by mistake. The heroine protects and becomes fiercely protective of this
young boy, even taking a severe beating by her captors in order to protect him.
They manage to escape and meet up with the boy's godfather who returns them to
the boy's home. The next morning the hero finds the heroine and the boy
sleeping in the same chambers.
IN
BED WITH THE HIGHLANDER the heroine is held captive with a young boy. The boy
is there by mistake. The heroine protects and becomes fiercely protective of
this young boy, even taking a severe beating by her captors in order to protect
him. They manage to escape and meet up with the boy's uncle who returns them to
the boy's home. The next morning the hero find the heroine and the boy sleeping
in the same chambers.
It
is not only that that gives me pause. The heroine Mairin seems to me like a
mash up of the heroines in Ms. Garwood's Highlander novels. It's hard to cite
specifics because it's been awhile since I read Garwood's novels. I apologize for
not being to articulate my feelings in a better manner, but while reading IN
BED WITH THE HIGHLANDER all I could think of is Julie Garwood. It's from the
ways Mairin tries to integrate inside the clan, from the way she gains the
respect of the soldiers and the women, from the way the hero and the heroine's
relationship progresses.
Yet,
despite my qualms, IN BED WITH A HIGHLANDER is an engaging story but because of the similiarities I just don't
have the interest to keep reading the series, I'd rather re-read Julie Garwood. It didn't work for me. You may be different.
WHERE PURCHASED:
Purchased
with my own money.
RATING:
06 January 2011
REVIEW: Noelle's Gift by Shannon Emmel
NOELLE'S GIFT
Shannon Emmel
Publisher Name: Ellora's Cave/Moderne
Date Released: December 2010
Price: $4.98 Retail
Genre: Erotica/Contemporary/Fetish
Book Format: eBook
BACK COVER BLURB:
Months of therapy go out the window for Noelle when Brad moves back to town. Her super-hot ex has tongues wagging and temperatures rising when he makes his first appearance at the company Christmas party. Everyone is curious about Brad and the rumors surrounding his arrival.
COVER SNARK:
Blah. Ellora's Cave covers are so blah!
FIRST LINES:
"I couldn't take my eyes off the bed," Noelle said recalling every detail of Brad's bedroom. The bed was huge, with the four elaborately carved posts draped from floor to ceiling with miles of deep red velvet.
LYNETTE'S TWO CENTS:
NOELLE'S GIFT opens with Noelle at her therapist office freaking out because her ex is coming back in town. To make matters worse, he'll soon be her boss. She's reliving the shame she feels because Brad invokes her fetish for fur. She gets really turned on by fur, how it feels against her skin, etc., etc., etc. Since their relationship ended, Noelle has banished all fur from her life and is terrified that having Brad around will evoke all the cravings she's spent a long time repressing.
When she goes to work for her office's Christmas party, she's freaking out because someone went all out decorating the office for Christmas to include a lot of furry stuff. She knows that Brad has had a hand in that. That feeling intensifies when she sees Brad and he's wearing a furry suit.
To be honest, I didn't get what Noelle's problem was. To semi-quote Brad, who cares that you have a thing for fur? I love Christmas and keep a Christmas tree in my bedroom? What's the big freaking deal? Okay, I'm paraphrasing, but you get my drift. I didn't understand Noelle's motivation for shame and why she just cut Brad out of her life when they were in a relationship. From what I could perceive, the only reason she cut off the relationship is because she was embarrassed about her fetish? Why? He didn't mind indulging in it so I didn't get the big deal. While some of the reasoning was explored, I couldn't buy into it. The reasoning behind Noelle's actions just didn't gel for me personally.
Just because I didn't connect to Noelle didn't make this a bad story, because after all was said and done, I believed that Noelle and Brad would have a satisfying relationship. I believed in their happily ever after.
WHERE PURCHASED:
Received Copy from the Publisher for Review.
Rating:
10 May 2010
REVIEW: Breakaway by Rochelle Alers
Rochelle Alers
ISBN #: 9780373831821
Kimani Press Arabesque
May 2010
Contemporary Romance/AA
BACK COVER BLURB:
When E.R. doctor Celia Cole-Thomas is wounded and her fiancé killed in a shootout at the hospital, the only way she can heal her body and her heart is to spend time at her mountain retreat. In her remote cabin on the Tennessee border, she isolates herself from the world—until Gavin Faulkner moves into a nearby lodge. And as hard as Celia tries to stay away, Gavin's friendship and sensuality are slowly bringing her back to life.
An FBI special agent, Gavin has been ordered to apprehend a fugitive in the area. The moment he meets Celia, he knows he can't pass up the chance to show this vibrant woman all the passion she's been missing. But his dangerous assignment could shatter the fragile trust they've built, unless he can convince her that love's rewards are worth the risks….
FIRST LINES (Prolouge):
Dr. Celia Cole-Thomas pulled back the curtain in the cubicle where she’d dressed the sutured forefinger of an elderly man. She immediately heard screams for help in English and Spanish coming from the E.R. waiting
room. Her heart rate quickened when she saw two young men in blood-soaked clothing struggling under
the weight of a limp body.
LYNETTE'S TWO CENTS:
Confession time: I am a black woman who doesn't read a lot of romance novels featuring black heros and heroines. Yes, I read them but not a lot. I can probably count on my hands the number of romance novels that I've read by black authors in the last six months. It's not that it's something that I've consciously done. But it's very hard to decipher the good from the bad. There seems to be an unwritten rule in the black community that you don't trash your brother or sisters efforts. It seems that if you go on Amazon or Shelfari or any sites like that and look up books by black authors everyone LOVED the book. I've gotten burned many times by buying books because of rave reviews, cracking the book open, and being like 'really.' So since I'm careful on what I spend my money on, it's very rare that I buy black romance. Though I do pick it up when I see them at my library.
So, I'm very hesitant to comment on black romance. One, I have diarrhea of the mouth; and two, I feel that I'll be bashed horribly for daring to say what I really thought. LOL.
Oh well . . . I had a good life.
I so wanted to love this book, but I couldn't and here are the reasons why:
• Too much narrative: I felt like as if Breakaway was narrated to me instead of being shown a story. The narration confused me. There were times when the Celia and Gavin's thought processes didn't fit the words that came out of their mouths. I was pulled out of the story a lot and had to flip back so that I could try to keep up what was going on. I also had the strange feeling that I was being talked down to which is a weird thing to say. I apologize, I can't pinpoint a specific moment just an overwhelming feeling I had.
• Too much description. Pages and pages of description that took away from the plot and the Celia and Gavin's developing relationship. When I say description, I really mean description from the big to the large. Pages and pages of back story telling the history of Celia's family, while interesting had nothing to do with the plot. There was also paragraphs and paragraphs of description of what exactly Gavin and Celia were eating, wearing, lived. I know some people like those things, but I wish it was sprinkled in instead of just dumped there. I wanted to learn more about Celia and Gavin from their interactions not from large info dumps.
• Characters: I didn't believe in Celia and Gavin's relationship. I found it hard that they had respect for each other. They spent so much time battling for the upper hand in the relationship, that I lost interest in them and the chemistry for each other.
I don't know what else to say other than this book wasn't for me. I know that this author has an extensive fan base, but Breakaway just wasn't my thing.
WHERE PURCHASED:
Received galley copy from publisher via NetGalley
RATING:
D
07 April 2010
REVIEW: DEAD BY MIDNIGHT BY BEVERLY BARTON
BACK COVER BLURB:
IN MURDER...
The last sounds Dean Wilson hears are a clock striking twelve and a killer's taunting words. And his death is just the first. One by one, victims are stalked and shot at close range. Only the killer knows their sins, and who will be the next to die at midnight..
AND IN LIFE...
In the ten years since her Hollywood career imploded, Lorie Hammonds has built a good life in her Alabama hometown. When the first death threat arrives, she assumes it's a joke. Then she gets a second note. Sheriff Mike Birkett, her high-school sweetheart, has avoided Lorie since she returned to Dunmore, but when investigators uncover her connection to a string of recent murders, he's drawn into a case that's terrifyingly personal.
TIMING IS EVERYTHING
With every murder, the killer edges closer. Soon Lorie's will be the last name left on his list. Her only hope is to unearth a deadly secret -- before the clock runs out for good...
LYNETTE'S TWO CENTS:
DEAD BY MIDNIGHT is a beautifully written story with a compelling mystery. It's too bad the hero of DEAD BY MIDNIGHT is a complete douche bag. If Mike wasn't a total prick, I would have loved the story more and bought into the romance between the hero and heroine. If Mike wasn't a complete prick I would've given DEAD BY MIDNIGHT an A instead of a D-.
Quick overview: Mike and Lorie were high school sweethearts. After high school, like many kids who live in a small town (and many who don't) the heroine wanted to break free, go to Hollywood, and become an actress. Naive perhaps but then so is pretty much every teenager who has those dreams of fame and fortune. She goes off to Hollywood and like nearly every other high school romance she and Mike drift apart.
Hollywood is not all it's cracked up to be, she ends up doing a Playboy spread and taking a bit part in a porno. Dissatisfied with the way her life is going Lorie returns to her small town and is treated worse than the heroine in the Scarlett Letter. Mike is now married and treats the heroine horribly.
Fast forward ten years. Mike still treats Lorie like dog dodo, but now he's widowed. Heroine starts getting death threats. So she naturally reports the letters to the police. Unfortunately for her the police chief is dick head Mike and he thinks she's lying to get close to him. Though nothing she's done in the last ten years has shown that she was trying to get back with him. Luckily, she has friends who work for a private security agency and gets them to look into the case.
Mike the dickhead, is still a dick head when people from the porno she had a bit part in start dying. Because apparently the heroine is a whore (in his mind) even though nothing she's done in all the years she's been back home suggests anything of the kind.
Sorry, I could go on and on and on about all the dickhead things Mike did in DEAD BY MIDNIGHT. I probably would've put the book down but it was so well written and the mystery was good. Although . . . despite the author's attempts to disguise it, I knew who the killer was from the moment they appeared on the page. But, I usually can, it's a talent I have. LOL.
I never warmed up to Mike, even when he sort of tried to make amends. It was too little to late for me and I felt annoyed with the heroine for feeling like she deserved to be treated like total crap. Despite the awesome writing, I can't recommend this book.
WHERE PURCHASED:
Borrowed from the library.
RATING:
D-
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