30 April 2010
Posted by Lynette
(Okay, I love the hubster, but the thought of him getting near my VaJayJay with a Bic and some shaving creme, scares the crap out of of me.)
(Need I say more? Because of course nothing says I love you like a man pouring hot wax on you and breaking a whip on your booty - or other body parts.)
(Just what I always wanted - a kiss to die for [literally] first thing in the morning when your breath is all stank.)
(I can't imagine anything making me want to have sex more than running for my life.)
*Speaking of, on a personal note: Years ago when I was in the military stationed in Honduras, myself and another soldier (who I happened to be dating at the time) got sent out to pick up some civilian doctors who had come to the country for humanitarian work. We got lost as heck on tiny narrow roads on the side of mountains and our truck broke down. Neither of us spoke Spanish. The Hondurans were very excited to see two Americans in a broke down car. They leaned out their car windows and yelled at us. And these were the nice ones. Others had guns that they brandished at us. To make a long story short, when we finally made it back to base, the guy turned me and said. "Lynette, I know you don't drink, but we're getting drunk tonight." So we went to his room, listened to rap music, and got rip roaring drunk over vodka and juice. He walked me back to my room where later that night I rolled over in my bed (yes, I was alone, PERVS) and puked over my copy of Mary Jo Putney's Shattered Rainbows (the original release, I think she's re-issuing that series now). Anyhoo, I can tell you, sex wasn't on either of our minds that night. Just saying.
And yes it is weird that I remember the exact book that I was reading at that time. Sue me!
I think it's very degrading that the man that I've been doing the nasty with doesn't realize that I'm the one he wants to spend his life with until I either get beat up, shot, or save him from some god awful fate. I'm thinking that he should've known me, my feelings for him, and my charecter before I had to nearly die. Just sayin'
Okay, this one is a little vague. But I mean when the man comes into the picture and the heroine acts like she can't do anything withougt her man's guidence, or he comes in and trys to control the situation. I'm a grown woman not a child. 'Ya hear?
02: Sex on the Beach (or the equivalent)
Maybe I'm getting old. But the thought of having sex on the beach isn't fun. I mean, can you imagine all the places the sand can get into. It's the same for sex in the jungle, sex when you're funky. Etc, etc., etc. And speaking of what if you stepped in an ant pile or something and . . .. Okay, let me stop putting thoughts in your head.
Go on Wikepedia and look it up. Better pictures, but I didn't dare post them. LOL. Rimming to put it delicately, is when you give the back entrance a tongue bath. Ewwww.
So did I miss anything?
What do you find hot or sexy when you're reading a romance novel but in real life, you're like WTF?
Let me know. Can't wait to hear your comments!
Labels: Friday Ramblings
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